“I’ll trust you anyway…”

“He knows what I need…” Hmmmmm. I haven’t written since September 21, 2018. WoW. We don’t know what the next day, let alone the next moment will bring. You know? God is really more than enough.

On September 28, 2018, I had the first of 6 blood transfusions … what??????? He always knows what we need. In the months that followed I struggled with the physical fear, the emotional trauma of fear and the just plain old fear of dying. I didn’t want to die. That was the first time in my life where I realized to the depths of my soul I want to live. The gift of life. A treasure. … to live. Ahhhhhhh… (BIG sigh). He knows what we need.

Just as I was getting to an almost place of releasing the fear another traumatic event happens … heart wrenching. He knows what we need…

Two months later … my mom is going to bed. She walks past my home office. I say, “Goodnight mom. I love you.” She stops by the door. “I love you too Susy.” Next thing I hear, “Susy, I don’t feel good.” My mom didn’t sound right. I ran to the room. She’s sitting on the bed. Her color is grey, she looks at me. I go to her. “Mom! Mom!” She says, “Susy…”

“Oh God please. Mom, hold on a second.” I run and grab my phone. I dial 911. My mom’s sitting up and as 911 comes on the line, her eyes go … they glaze over and she starts to fall back on the bed. I grab behind her.