“I’ll trust you anyway…”

susy dodson
5 min readJul 20, 2019

“He knows what I need…” Hmmmmm. I haven’t written since September 21, 2018. WoW. We don’t know what the next day, let alone the next moment will bring. You know? God is really more than enough.

On September 28, 2018, I had the first of 6 blood transfusions … what??????? He always knows what we need. In the months that followed I struggled with the physical fear, the emotional trauma of fear and the just plain old fear of dying. I didn’t want to die. That was the first time in my life where I realized to the depths of my soul I want to live. The gift of life. A treasure. … to live. Ahhhhhhh… (BIG sigh). He knows what we need.

Just as I was getting to an almost place of releasing the fear another traumatic event happens … heart wrenching. He knows what we need…

Two months later … my mom is going to bed. She walks past my home office. I say, “Goodnight mom. I love you.” She stops by the door. “I love you too Susy.” Next thing I hear, “Susy, I don’t feel good.” My mom didn’t sound right. I ran to the room. She’s sitting on the bed. Her color is grey, she looks at me. I go to her. “Mom! Mom!” She says, “Susy…”

“Oh God please. Mom, hold on a second.” I run and grab my phone. I dial 911. My mom’s sitting up and as 911 comes on the line, her eyes go … they glaze over and she starts to fall back on the bed. I grab behind her.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

“My address is … My mom is, I don’t know what’s happening, she’s not responding. Her eyes are glazed over. Oh God. Mom! Mom! Jesus please. Please God save my mom. I don’t want to lose her. Please God.”

“Ma’am, you’ll have to calm down.”

“I know, but this is my mom. Jesus please heal her Lord. Mom! Mom, I need you. Mom!”

My mom didn’t respond for what seemed like a long time. I couldn’t feel her breathing. I thought she was going away from me. Then in the middle of me talking to the 911 person, to God, to mom, she came back. Her eyes cleared up. She saw me… “Susy, I’m thirsty…”

God knows what I need.

The paramedics get to the house. My mom, who is very stubborn, :) didn’t want to go in the ambulance. I drove her to the ER. They did a scan and said they had to send her to a hospital with…

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susy dodson

Part of the conversation, sharing the conversation, & hopefully learning more about our world in the process. https://mastodon.art/@Susydod